Too Many Years

I’m waiting at the station for the Sudbury bus

To see my real dad, years ago:

He answered my letter to meet this one time

And there’s so much I need to know.

But he hung up the phone before I could ask,

And now we will meet in this place:

He’s been dead to me for all this time,

I can hardly picture his face.

Will I recognize him, will he remember me?

Or will we be strangers this day?

Is it too many years, or too many fears?

I wish he had not gone away.

Years later, I’m flying to visit my long lost son,

He’s just had a boy of his own:

He answered my letter to meet this one time

There’s so much he needs to know.

Can he forgive my absence for all these years?

Will we even know what we should be?

Can anyone be sure that this hurt can be healed?

I’ve done to him what’s been done to me.

Will I recognize him, will he remember me?

Or will we be strangers this day?

Is it too many years, or too many fears?

And I wish I had not gone away.

There’s got to be more to this than naming,

More than moments stolen in time;

Somewhere there’s no need for this explaining,

Where I can be myself, a place that’s really mine.

I’d been trying for years to find them

With hours of research, online,

There’s only one thread which brought me in touch

With cousins I hoped would be mine.

I met him in London for the first time

And he set up this visit for me:

To meet my father’s family all at once

And for them the prodigal to meet.

Will I recognize them, do they know about me?

Or will we be strangers this day?

It was too many years, or too many fears:

This time I won’t go away.

Words by Christopher Miller

Music by Cathy Miller