When I feel all alone…

Of all the pictures that Google presented to me, when I searched for a provocative image of ‘abandonment’, this is the one that resonated.

It hearkens back to my childhood of feeling like the outsider.

I’m not looking for sympathy here, just a little understanding.

A wound that never heals?

As I have documented throughout my posts here on WordPress, I never met my biological father until I was almost 25.

My conscious thought was that he had died when I was too young to remember. My unconscious thought was that I wasn’t good enough for him to stay around.

This thought still has roots, unfortunately.

But what makes me ponder this uncomfortable feeling is the fact that my children have similar issues with me. And my mother never knew who her biological parents were.

We are not alone, even though we may be solitary with our experience.

In My Life

John Lennon’s mother died when he was still young. His father had run away to sea. He became a rebellious youth as a way to punish the world. But he also channeled his angst into music and art. His son, Julian, does the same.

Knowing that I share this memory with them, and others, helps me live my life to the best of my ability.