
I moved away from Canada in nineteen-eighty-five:
I wanted to see how the other half survived;
The Brits were somewhat welcoming to me,
There were so many places I wanted to be.
But I didn’t realize how much the thread comes apart
When one forgets to send love home from the heart
And no amount of patching the great big gaping hole
Can make things right again, to make things whole.
I am a stranger to my homeland,
I never did live in Guelph;
I’m a stranger to my loved ones,
I’m a stranger to myself.
So much has happened in those intervening years:
There were so many circumstances, so many tears.
And I truly thought that I could pick up the missing thread
To make things right again, to remake a marital bed.
But time moves on, and even my own sweet life
Is different now, I’ve taken another wife;
No more can I look back to see what has gone wrong,
No more can I be sure of where I actually belong.
I am a stranger to my homeland,
I’m no more in perfect health;
I’m a stranger to my old best friends,
I’m a stranger to myself.
This poem relates to a short visit back to Canada in 2001, one week before 9-11.
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Quote from Rudolf Steiner’s book How To Know Higher Worlds: “Of course, in many life situations, great strength is needed to create such moments of inner peace. But the greater the effort required, the more meaningful the achievement accomplished. On the path of knowledge all depends upon whether we can face ourselves and all our deeds and actions energetically, with inner truthfulness and uncompromising honesty, as though we were strangers to ourselves.”
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