My wife, Susan, bought me this book for Christmas in 2020. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I’d already read the first edition, years ago. At the moment, I’m looking for something to read and decided to give this one a second viewing. It’s good, but, after 16 years, seems passé.
However, I came across a passage on pages 87-8, and thought that it would be a good one to share:
“A very common role is the one of victim, and the form of attention it seeks is sympathy or pity or others’ interest in my problems, ‘me and my story.’ Seeing oneself as a victim is an element in many egoic patterns, such as complaining, being offended, outraged, and so on. Of course, once I am identified with a story in which I assigned myself the role of victim, I don’t want it to end, and so, as every therapist knows, the ego does not want an end to its ‘problems’ because they are part of its identity. If no one will listen to my sad story, I can tell it to myself in my head, over and over, and feel sorry for myself, and so have an identity as someone who is being treated unfairly by life or other people, fate or God. It gives definition to my self-image, makes me into someone, and that is all that matters to the ego.”
Does this remind you of anyone?
We all do it, don’t we?
But does this really define who you are? Is this really how you see yourself?
Of course, I could always fall back on a good source: my dreams. Last night’s was interesting in that I returned to it after several conscious moments tending to the toilet and calming our two dogs’ restlessness. But I don’t feel inspired enough to share it, since its meaning is ‘unworthy’ of serious consideration by others. In fact, it may be true to say the same about all my dreams.
I have been writing on WordPress for seven years in a fortnight’s time. I have tried to go ‘deep’ into the subjects that interest me, almost constantly all through that tenth of my existence here. They say that every cell in one’s body is renewed (at least) every seven years. So, I have to ask myself: Have I changed? The answer is: yes and no.
When I look at my earliest posts, I can easily see that I was reviewing almost everything I had experienced, and shared, through my previous medium of choice: poetry. But people don’t really appreciate poetry anymore. Once upon a time I could have been famous for writing it, but not now. Why is that?
And when I wrote prose, I chose to expound on themes that run counter to the prevailing ethos of the times, both present and past. What was I trying to prove, that I’m different?
Yesterday’s post about ‘roof brain chatter’ was a reminder to myself that my ego seems to be trying to assert my ‘special-ness‘. But I know I’m no more special than the next person.
In truth, I am only useful to spirit when I’m a blank slate waiting to be written on.
I read a lot of books in the second half of the 1970’s. This may have been one of them. For sure, I recognize the cover image, but most of the content eludes me now. The only thing I retained was the term ‘roof brain chatter’. Strange, that.
Using Google today, I researched that term and was told by Wikipedia that it was coined by Joseph Chilton Pearce in this book. OK, that’s to be expected, I guess: I have latched on to one small piece of the puzzle, the one that talks about the shallow thinking at the top of our brains.
Yes, I am guilty of it as much as anyone.
Let’s just say, I want to go ‘deep’ and leave it at that. Bless.
I have to admit to having a bit of trepidation before watching this film on Netflix last night. For one thing, I knew there would be racial discrimination and even a little bit of violence, but I wasn’t expecting the humour and pathos, in equal measure.
In 1962, Tony “Tony Lip” Vallelonga, a tough bouncer, is looking for work when his nightclub is closed for renovations. The most promising offer turns out to be the driver for the African-American classical pianist Don Shirley for a concert tour into the Deep South states. Although hardly enthused at working for a black man, Tony accepts the job and they begin their trek armed with The Negro Motorist Green Book, a travel guide for safe travel through America’s racial segregation. Together, the snobbishly erudite pianist and the crudely practical bouncer can barely get along with their clashing attitudes to life and ideals. However, as the disparate pair witness and endure America’s appalling injustices on the road, they find a newfound respect for each other’s talents and start to face them together. In doing so, they would nurture a friendship and understanding that would change both their lives.
This is an excellent film for allowing two individuals the chance of a lifetime to become friends in spite of their differences. And the fact that it’s based on a true story makes it even better.
The fried chicken scene was probably the funniest in the whole film, and turns out to be the best preparation that Tony provided Don for a dinner that happens later in the story.
And the surprise of the century was when Don makes his one phone call to his lawyer when they were locked up in a jail in a ‘sunset’ town, only to have Bobby Kennedy pull some strings.
But is the story true?
If you love classical music, Don Shirley’s recitals in the film are beautiful. And if you wonder what he would do with popular music, the final ‘concert’ will show you. The man was a genius.
In a discussion with a fellow-WordPress blogger yesterday, I realized that I haven’t expressly stated what my concern is about David Wilcock’s unsettling change of focus in 2017.
Prior to that time, David had spent most of his time working to get some levels of government to acknowledge publicly that the UFO phenomenon is real. This would seem a harmless endeavour, unless of course you are in charge of the state secrets and don’t want to spook the country. Corey Goode may have been part of that process (a true insider) so anything he shared with David would have been (at best) enlightening, (at worst) disinformation.
So what changed? Donald Trump became president and an entity who called himself “Q” decided to help other American ‘patriots’ understand how Trump was going to ‘drain the swamp.’ Then, the Deep State became the focus: it’s a term that Republicans call anything that smacks of Democratic power-grabbing and control. Then the idea of the Deep State was equated to the Cabal. OK. Now we’re in civil war territory, but with global implications.
Good(e) versus Evil is always an attention grabber. But, even though we think we know who (or what) we mean when we refer to the Cabal, it is as old as history, and just as insidious.
From a Roman Church perspective, the Cabal were the Illuminati, Gnostics who supported a different worldview about religion and faith. The Cabal were branded the Devil’s children, spawn of Satan, trying to control and dismantle the one ‘true’ religion. (Really?!)
Through the years, this group became everyone’s favourite whipping boy. The whiff of antisemitism began to grow. Who could possibly be financing and abetting these people? Jewish bankers, of course, hiding behind the ‘red door’ (Rothschild). Do you see what I’m getting at, here? Bankers have always held the purse strings, and ordinary folk resent that.
Everyone thinks they’re being patriotic when a common enemy is identified and the forces of ‘good’ are allied against it. But I have always had an uncomfortable feeling when David refers to the Allies who are opposed to the Deep State. Who are the Alliance? Foreign governments, the military, and anyone who is ‘spiritual’. Oh-oh, now we’re being hoodwinked, folks.
Spiritual people do not ‘oppose’ anyone, or anything: they (you/me) accept the fact that in this binary world, there are two sides to every story, and the Truth in the middle. Dualism is division; unity is inclusive. The human spirit needs both to survive. That is my understanding.
(Excuse the grammar…)
I suspect my incredulity starting jumping off David’s bandwagon when these ‘mass sealed indictments’ started to be touted as the way forward. I knew fantasy and wish-fulfillment were taking over his thinking. I was not fooled.
So, since the Capitol Insurrection on January 6th, the world has woken up to the fact that the delusion of weeding out the ‘bad people’ in Washington is just another illusion, meant to keep everyone fighting each other. You know what I’m going to say next:
I guess he didn’t want to see what 100 years looked like in the mirror. Prince Philip died yesterday, and I waited an extra day to see if Buckingham Palace would provide any further details beyond the fact that he ‘passed peacefully this morning’.
I set the time of death to 6:00 am, even though I suspect he died in his sleep. His usual custom would be to get up before the crack of dawn, so his servants would have started their day with opening the curtains in his bedroom about that hour. He would have been unresponsive, so the doctor was called. (You can see what happens when details aren’t given: we fill them in.)
The chart itself is fairly unremarkable. No inconjuncts, just a few square aspects scattered throughout the one side, clustered around the Ascendant @ 5 Aries. He’s the ‘escaped goat’.
Comparing Philip’s birth and death charts, we can see how the timing is more accurate than I first imagined: the ‘event’ Ascendant is now directly opposite his natal Midheaven, and Mars is transiting his natal Sun. At least it was a peaceful transition.
I remember studying this play in high school. Even then, it seemed very old-fashioned. Set in the 1940’s, it chronicles the decline and fall of one man, Willy Loman, as he looks back on his life and the way things turned out. And he is full of regrets. (I wonder from where Arthur Miller got his inspiration.)
He is 63 years old and unstable, insecure, and self-deluded. Willy tends to re-imagine events from the past as if they were real. He vacillates between different eras of his life. Willy seems childlike and relies on others for support, coupled with his recurring flashbacks to various moments throughout his career. His first name, Willy, reflects this childlike aspect as well as sounding like the question “Will he?” His last name gives the feel of Willy’s being a “low man”, someone who will not succeed; however, this popular interpretation of his last name was dismissed by Miller.
Since I first saw the film of the play, starring Fredric March, I have always wondered what it would be like to be in one’s senior years and looking back on one’s past. Well, now I know.
Willy’s sons are Biff and Happy. Isn’t it funny that the name Biff should reoccur in “Back to the Future”? Happy’s proper name is Harold, but I suppose for shorthand purposes, Miller called him Hap, as in haphazard. Of all the characters in the play, he was the most positive, anyway.
Linda, Willy’s long-suffering wife, seems to be a bit of a doormat. I would imagine that Edith Bunker, Archie’s wife, in “All in the Family” was based on her. In those days, ‘girls was girls and men was men.’ Wives mostly stayed at home and tended the hearth (where the heart is).
The play was depressing then and it’s depressing now. As a message to the world, it’s a salutary tale. But was the world paying attention?
Due to the ultimate success of the play, I think the American public did pay attention…
The Chart
I got the brainwave to raise the chart for the debut of the play on Broadway at about 5 o’clock this morning. I wasn’t sure what I’d see, but I was reasonably secure in the thought that the play’s lasting influence on society would be there, somehow.
There are five inconjuncts, two of which form a Yod pointing at the Sun.
Sun Inconjunct Moon
This aspect suggests that there is a subtle conflict going on inside you that may sometimes create emotional problems. The Sun signifies your conscious personality, the way in which you act and the kinds of activities that you like to get involved in. The Moon signifies the emotional and less conscious side of you. It indicates the habits that take over when you are not acting consciously and feelings that come up from deep inside you. The inconjunct aspect between the Sun and Moon means that the Sun part of your personality is quite different from the Moon part, and it may be hard for you to relate them to each other. It is as if you are divided in two, so that whenever you have to make an important decision, especially one that involves your feelings, the different sides of your personality want to go in opposite directions. You sometimes find it difficult to decide if you like something or if you want to take part in some activity.
Sun Inconjunct Ascendant
Your relationships with other people can be very intense. While you are young, they may be quite difficult, because you feel that others will accept you only if you deny yourself in some way. Or you may constantly feel you should put off doing what you want in order to do what you have to do. Usually your ideas about what you have to do come from the people around you. Also, contacts with other people will frequently force you to make serious, major psychological changes. Difficulties in your relationships with friends and family are signs of profound internal changes.
Mercury Inconjunct Saturn
This aspect can have several different meanings. First of all, you may have hidden fears that are difficult to express, but they cause you to do things that others can’t understand. These may include fear of the dark or of certain places or people. Or this aspect can mean that you often feel depressed and sad for no apparent reason. You tend to see the serious side of life, and it weighs on you more than on most people.
Venus Inconjunct Saturn
This aspect means that your family may make you feel that you are unworthy of love. Unless you are given a great deal of love while you are young, you will be attracted to cold and unfeeling people when you are an adult. Such people are an outward expression of your inner feeling of unworthiness.
Even without any pressure, you are likely to be more disciplined that most people your age. You don’t go overboard in anything, and you feel strongly that your worth depends on what you do and how much you accomplish.
Jupiter Inconjunct Midheaven
Later in life, you will enter a critical period when your need for personal satisfaction and freedom force you to change jobs or even careers. When you have learned more about the world, you will understand how to make changes intelligently, but now you should discipline your Jupiterian drive for freedom and learn what you need to know to take over your own destiny. You should learn as much as possible about any subject or skill that will make you more aware of the larger world. Travel or foreign study would be beneficial, if that is possible. The more you know about how you fit into the larger scheme of life, the easier it will be to make the right decision when you have to change to a more rewarding and personally satisfying course.
Honestly, I had no idea that this chart would describe Loman’s life in such graphic detail. But why am I surprised? All aspects of life are displayed, even in Broadway plays from the mid-20th century. Willy Loman, as he himself pointed out was “worth more dead than alive.”
The traveling salesman, who used to go door-to-door selling vacuum cleaners, magazine subscriptions and insurance policies, died in the 1950’s,
